Monday, August 1, 2011

Taglines, Harder than Tweeting!! Help me write one?

I'm having serious trouble coming up with a tag line for Coming Home (Dicky's Story). Yeah, can you believe it's been out and on sale for just over 3 months and I still haven't written a tag line? Ooops.

I have a banner ad. See it over there in the right-side column of this blog? It's nice but it's a banner ad, an abbreviated sales pitch. What's on it is not a tag line.

While other people may choose differently for their books, I think my tag line needs to somehow embody the spirit of the book, its theme, not its plot. It's an Inspirational Fiction more than anything else. The love story, the Romantic Comedy, at its core is really more of the backdrop against which Dicky takes his faith walk. Leah is a catalyst for him to grow, but since the story's told in his voice, we don't really see her POV or learn much about her own journey.

This really is Dicky's Story, a tale of how he comes into himself, how he comes "home" to himself. How he comes to grips with his destiny. He doesn't ask a lot of questions in his search so I don't want to go with that classic Jewish meme, but he does find a lot of the shy child (in the Passover Seder service's recital of the Four Questions), we have to ask for him. Except he's defintiely not shy. *cough* Yeah, not so much. He's a pretty secure kind of guy who actually thought he knew himself. He didn't know the half of it, but that just meant he was suffering blissful ignorance.


What is the one thing I want most of all for readers to get out of Dicky's Story? Well, it's a Jewish story so I have to use Jewish terms and phrases here but I think it's a fairly common Christian meme, too. I'd say that one thing is this: life does not need to be a struggle when you choose to be Chosen. It's not about following rules or subscribing to liturgy. It's about what's in your heart, your soul, your character.

The only tagline I can come up with (remember, 10 words or less!!) is this:

Life is full of choices. Choose to be Chosen.

That's 9 words. What 10 words or less would you choose? Post in the comments on the blog or on Facebook and let me know! By the time I finish the cartooning of Dicky, I need to have a new tagline.


Webbiegrrl Writer said...

Oooh, thought of another one:


or another variation:


except it's not the sky, it's the ceiling (or the floor of the next level up) that comes crashing in on Dicky when he jumps to grab the Kid. I like the jumping part know, look before you leap, leap of faith, that sort of chain-thinking

Webbiegrrl Writer said...

For those who haven't read the book or heard about it (how'd you escape my endless droning on?) there's a scene (cliffhanger ending to Ch 1) where Dicky's talking to the Kid who's wandered up and suddenly the entire hallway crashes in (a cave in, this is an underground world) On instinct, he grabs the Kid and jumps through the nearby doorway, saving them both....and thus begins his journey.

Webbiegrrl Writer said...

Got some better wording on the 2d one there:


Questions always obtain better click-through rates for some reason (weird but true, like this numbers thing).

Webbiegrrl Writer said...

Okay, one more variation then sadly, I need to go to the day job. I hate this job but I need the $$$ so I'll be back to this (if anyone comes to brainstorm) later tonight or wee hours of tomorrow for you UK'ers)


that doesn't really feel natural when i say it aloud though, more like


which doesn't relate to the story *at all* so I'm not lovin' it. Maybe I need to drop the jumping thread and just drag myself to work already! L8R

BankruptcyOfAmerica said...

Life, Not for the Chosen Few, but the Few Who Choose

BankruptcyOfAmerica said...

Btw, is me, ;)

Webbiegrrl Writer said...

Thanks for the contribution, David. For some reason it sounds like an Army commercial (or Marines...A Few Good Men) BTW, there are two David's following me on twitter who write "scary stories" and I may have/be/continue to mix the two of you up. You're both tweeting at me like crazy. I doubt i can keep up for much longer!

Webbiegrrl Writer said...

I don't know if @PaulDube will fess up and post his remarks in reaction to my request for a new tagline to use with this book. I swear, I never EVER thought along these lines but over on Twitter, Paul noted that the double entendre of the title and parenthetical (Coming Home (Dicky's Story) is hard to beat (talk about double - quadruple? - entendres!)

ROTFLMAO...thanks, Paul. I needed that.

Paul said...

Sorry for the delay... Firefox has been going down on me all day ... not as enjoyable as it sounds (burns).
Anyway, suggestions:
"Man in the Mirror" meets The Thornbirds and becomes a Thriller
Move over Thornbirds, you've been usurped by Coming Home (Dickey's Story) as the sexiest faith walk of all time.

Webbiegrrl Writer said...

LOL Paul, you are REALLY in double-entendre mode today!! My world is a better place with people like you in it. Thank you.

I really like the last part of the second one:


I'm not sure I quite get the Thornbirds connection and personally, I loved that series and think Richard Chamberlain would've been just perfect as Dicky if it were made into a film. Pity he's way too old now and there's not really a young guy like him / at his acting caliber around. Closest would be Dr. McSteamy? McDreamy? I never can keep them straight. I don't even know the guy's name and don't watch Grey's Anatomy. It's not Patrick Dempsey. Him, I know. The other one. That actor kind of has a Young Doctor Kildaire look about him...but he's not even HALF the actor Richard

Paul have you seen the drawings, btw? I know you've been crazy-busy and might've missed all of the posts. It was this past Saturday's Surprise (3 posts, in a progression, read from the bottom up obviously)

Agnieszkas Shoes said...

I really like David's. The line in the post doesn't work for me because it sounds too much like an order, which makes the book sound like a self-help rather than an inspirational novel.

I am pretty terrible with taglines, which I always make sound too much like movie ones. I like sentences that have two parts that link syntactically - "When life is full of choices,..." for example. But 10 words, I'd really struggle to do more than "What do you choose when you can choose anything?" or some such

Paul said...

Ah Sarah, my memory may be a bit fuzzy... I have a photographic memory (but I ran out of film >30 yrs ago) but I remember the Thornbirds as a catholic priest love story thing and the Michael Jackson references "bring up" the changes Dicky goes through...

Webbiegrrl Writer said...

Paul, I get your Thornbirds reference now! That's the difference between you (a man raised as a Catholic) and me (a woman raised as a Jew) watching a miniseries that really focused on "taboos." We all have different taboos. I'm not touching the MJ convo.

Dan, I would def. not go with "you can choose anything" b/c the whole point is the relevant phrase "Choose to be Chosen." You are also not Jewish so might not know this expression. It's a very old expression, stated originally in Hebrew as a nice alliteration, and it probably goes back to Hillel's time, which was around 250 yrs before Christ.

Choosing to be Chosen (both in the Christian sense of "choosing G*d," as well as the Jewish subtext "Chosen People") is a fairly strong meme in the book. I know you haven't read the book; that's why I'm droning on about this wording. ;-)

I'm really hoping to be STRUCK with some kind of epiphany or know, open myself up and let Him in? :)